Waiting In The Weeds

It was 5AM and I couldn't sleep, 7AM rolled around and I still couldn't sleep
 I decided to take a drive to ease my mind.
Here are some pictures from my escape.

I do what I want, when I want.

And I've been waiting in the weeds
Waiting for the dust to settle down along the
Back roads running through the fields
Lying on the outskirts of this lonesome town 

Second Photo Shoot

Indianapolis, IN

Photo Credit: Stephen Simonetto

Pattern Magazine shoot
http://issuu.com/patternindy/docs/pattern_issue_1 

I was nervous going into this photo shoot mainly because I didn't have a lot of experience and I had never collaborated with other models, not to mention gorgeous and talented ones at that. The risk was well worth it though. The shoot was a great opportunity and learning experience plus I was able to meet some pretty cool people and get my picture in a magazine :)  

First Photo Shoot

 Here are some photos the lovely Sisilia Piring-Rohrer so kindly took of me while she was in town visiting June of 2011

Check her work out at http://idontdodigital.com/

(: 

My mother always said I should pursue modeling. She's my mother and that's what she's supposed to say because every mother thinks their child/ children are superior to others. Secretly I was always interested in the art of photography and modeling, I just didn't want people to get the wrong impression of me as in think I was self absorbed or stuck up because I was modeling. Then I realized I didn't care what people thought because you're given one life and why not live that life to its highest potential. Plus if one is to judge in a negative and non supportive way, why would I want that individual in my life. Do I plan to make a career out of modeling? No, unless that's where life intends on taking me. It's fun for me and its challenging in so many ways. 

xoxo

I've been stumbling through some dark places.

Brookville Lake

Its been almost a year since the last time I posted anything. I can't sleep and I was feeling the urge to write so here I am. As I was trying to sleep I couldn't diminish the dark questions that kept popping into my mind, like how would I die? Would I die a painful death, of old age or die of cancer like so many loved ones I have known. I wish this was not how my brain operated in its state of "rest". My rational for this situation is that death is a part of life and its only natural to be curious.

April 1st will be the 7 month mark of my mothers passing. It still amazes me how much my life has changed in only a year. I know I'm not the only one in the world who has lost someone and I'm not searching for sympathy I'm only expressing how I feel which is hollow at times, empty and longing for that part of me I will never get back. That void is only filled when I dream about her, she's smiling and the sun is shinning so brightly on her. She's usually on a boat in the lake fishing. She loved to fish. Maybe I have this dream because one of the last cheerful moments I shared with her was on a boat in the lake. She was having a good day, a day where the cancer wasn't sucking the life out of her brittle bones. We laughed and skipped rocks and for that moment I felt I had my mother back. 


 I will never have her back but she is in every beautiful thing. She is in the sun that shines so bright, she is in the warm breeze that blows my hair, she is in every breath of every Eagles song I sing. Her memory lives on and I'm doing all I can to make her proud. 

"And I've been waiting in the weeds

Waiting for my time to come around again and

Hope is floating on the breeze

Carrying my soul high up above the ground and

I've been keepin' to myself

Knowin' that the seasons are slowly changing

Even though you're with somebody else

He'll never love you like I do"

<3